Come on In...I'm giving myself a "Pity Party" and your invited.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life!......How Hoakie!.......but I do have to believe it is true.

It's time for me to get real.......The pain level I went thru today was probably the worst pain I have ever experienced. Between me gulping tears, holding my head, rocking back and forth and singing the song of the dead, how do I sucessfully push thru this pain only to find its twin on the other side?

I have not been honest with myself , much less with you about the level of pain I have been going thru with this $#@^& Tumor. I keep thinking...tomorrow will be better so I fib and say to myself that today must not of been that bad in the land of brain tumors and horrendous illnesses. Well let me tell you......that is sooooo nooooooot trueeeeeee. Facing the fact that I am not invincible, that I have a weakness and that it is not deniable, that is what hurts most.

I try to lead my life with honor and humor. By not sharing the facts of pain, I am deluting all of the past heroic folks that have gone thru life threatening experiences and come out the other side better people. I want to be like them. I want to be strong. I want to be a force. Someday, maybe I will be. I can only continue to try.

I am so lucky to have people in my life that give me strength, hope, laughter and love. These people are the folks who don't leave. They stay, no matter what. They are my friends and family. This post is differenat from my other ones. I am giving myself a little "Hospital Pity Party" and it is a big thank you from Me to You.

Ed, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my husband, my life partner and my best friend. Kelli, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my daughter, my life partner and my best friend. Katy, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my sister, my life partner and my best friend. Matt, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my cousin, my life partner and my best friend. Marlowe, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my niece, my life partner and my best friend.

Everyone else who makes my life complete, you know who you are. You are my son-in-law, my nephews, nieces, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws, my writer's club friends and my life long friends. You all make it click for me. Whether you are in my life for a moment or forever, thanks for walking beside me for however long we have together.

I just learned that someone I greatly admire is suffering. His name is Rod and he donated his kidney to his loving wife April, last Wednesday. From what I understand, everything was going well and they were expected to be released from the hospital today. She passed away last night. I can only imagine how devasted he is. My heart is with you and it breaks for you every time I think about the pain you will have to push thru.

As I sit in this hospital bed, wiping my eyes for my self very own pity party, I will say this one last time, because I want to make sure you understand my feelings.

Thanks for Saving My Life on a Daily Basis and

Thank You for Making My Life What It Is.

And What It Is,

Is Great!

They Love Me Just a Little Too Much Here

So they are keeping me for at least another day. My silly brain is still swelling so they are going to put me back on steroids so the swelling will halt and decease. My headaches are pretty bad and Dr. Mickey does'nt want me leaving while I am in still so much pain because I live so far away. Thanks for that. I do want to go home. I want to be with my husband and see my friends. I also want to get wags and kisses from the 10 furry pups I have. This is a pic of Tilla, I don't know if I have ever shared that information with you before, but here are the rest of their names,
Boob (aka boobalicious or boobasaurous depending on his actions at the moment), Jelly Bean, Tilla (aka Atilla the Hun) Tulip, Tucker, Max, Moilly, Bug (aka Love Bug) Missy, and Mamma. I will try to post one of their pictures....They keep me very happy. I love wagging tails and unconditional love.

Anyway back to the tumor. It hurts like hell....I just wish the hurting would stop and I could get back to normal. I want to start writing on my novel again. I want to help edit my friends novels. I want to get back to my jewelry business and everythting else I do. However as long as my brain insists on being larger than the cranial capacity, that is an impossibility.

I am not happy about this new development and I am having strict talkings to my brain everyday. We are at odds at the moment.

Just thought I would keep you updated...that's about it for now. Talk to you again tomorrow if I get to go home.

My name is Donna and I feel like crap today

They call me Zipper Head!

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This is the scar and it looks like you can just unzip me.

Hopefully I get to go home tomorrow, Saturday and get back to normal life. I am meeting with the kidney transplant team on April 16th. Anyone have and extra kidney floating around?

Actually I have quite a few people who have stepped up to the plate already. My husband, sister, daughter, my contractor and a friend. Someone out of all of them...should work.

But now my concern is that you, whoever you are, and that if you are reading this and hurting, how can I help you through whatever it is you are going thru? If you are in a life threatening situation there is nothing more scary than thoughts of leaving behind loved ones. I faced this with the idea that nothing would go wrong. Yes, we (the family) talked about all of the death stuff, but once we discussed it and got all of the questions out on the table and found out all of the answers, I got all of my affairs in order and then we were able to move on.

I thoroughty researched the surgeon and the hospital and his team. I think I got the best doctor available. His name is Dr. Bruce Edward Mickey out of Tx SW University Hospital Complex in
Dallas, Texas. It is a teaching hospital and from what EVERYONE I spoke to reported, .....he is the best and he surrounds himself with the best.

Thank you, Dr. Mickey.

Well that's all I have to say today...I thought you might want to see the scar...Just think 45 hours ago my brain lay exposed on an operating table with doctors poking and prodding it. And look at me now. I am writing to you. Just how amazing is that?

My name is Donna and I am now an official zipper head and proud of it. I came through it with flying colors!

Pretty Cool...this is my brain

Hi Everyone.

Here it is the day after my "Stupid Brain Tumor Surgery" and I am already on my computer. Imagine that. I have the video of the complete surgery and it is really, rather amazing. You can see my brain and just like I had thought, it is quite an impressive brain. I was agog with the video. bit it grossed Ed out. I hope I can download it on this site in case you are interested in seeing brain surgery, but let me warn you, it is quite graphic.

Last night was a reallllllly bad night. I was throwing up quite a bit and it felt like my head was being torn from my neck. Once the upchucking passed, it has'nt been so bad. They are keeping me pretty drugged, which is a very good thing.....and I should be home by the weekend.

Anyway, I am at Zales Lipshey University Hospital (part of UT Southwest Complex), 5151 Harry Hines Blvd in Dallas, Room 520. I know some of you wanted to come by and say hey....so there is the address.

The cut on my head is very impressive. (about 10 inches long) It is not bandaged so you see it in all it's glory. Again...it grosses Ed out. By Friday I should have 2 black eyes and my head should be at maximum swelling. I am assuming I will be quite attractive. So far, everyone I have come into contact with here at the hospital is wonderful. They are very kind and good care givers.

My sister-in-law, Patty Lasko, stayed all night with me in ICU last night and I can only imagine, how horrible it was for her. During the upchucking sessions, I was crying because of the pain to my head and I actually think she was crying in sympathy. She was such a life saver, I don't think I could of made it thru last night without her. Thanks Patty.

I am already walking around and I am really amazed at this whole process. I am fine and I have no side effects that I know of. That is other than I tilt to the left when I walk, I don't really know who I am and I am blind as a bat.....psych....I am perfect...but you already knew that!

That is about all I have to report. I am going to try to download the video....and I will blog again within the next couple of days.

My name is Donna and I no longer have a "Stupid Brain Tumor"

It's the night before surgery and I'm at my sisters house. She lives about 10 miles from the hospital and since it is supposed to snow, I thought it woud be safer to be close just in case the roads are bad. I'll be at Zales Lipskey (sp) on Harry Hines. I'm a bit nervous about all the hoo-ha but I'm also ready for the games to begin. The knife makes it's first cut at noon and the entire thing shoud take between 4-6 hours. I'll be in ICU for the first 23 hours and if all goes well, then I'll be in my room after that for about the next 4-5 days.

I just wanted to take a minute and say thanks for all of the encouragement and thoughts coming my way....

My name is Donna and tomorrow I'm off to see the Wizard.

Do you want to see my brain?

I had an appointment yesterday, Feb 17th, with Dr. Mickey (nuerosurgeon) and after extensive testing, we have decided it would be safer and I would have a better long term prognosis if he went in thru the derma (skull) instead of the nose. I'm all atwitter about the prospect.

Am I nervous? Yes, I guess I am. Am I afraid? No, I don't think so. I am nervous about how much it will hurt afterwards,(yes I know I am a wuss...but) scared, no. I believe in destiny and I just have too much on my plate for it to be my time.

The cool thing about all of this is they will take pics during the surgery and I will post them here. So I will have proof that I actually do have a brain and I bet it's big and smart looking. Now that's not something everyone can say....Hey....you want to see a picture of my brain :)

There's really not much else to say about it. Tuesday is the date it all comes together and Wednesday is the date that will tell me if all is well. I will get back to you as soon as I can to update info. I am taking my computer to the hospital with me so hopefully I can do my show and tell on Wednesday. Wish me luck, and I wish you safety and good health.

My name is Donna and Wednesday really will be the first day of the rest of my life.