Poked and Prodded

It's been quite some time since I've posted, but it's time again. I have been poked and prodded for the last several weeks and it's not over yet. I'm being tested to see if I'm healthy enough to go on the "LIST" for transplant. So far so good. I've found out that my heart is pretty darn good and my teeth are in great shape. The other day I had some blood drawn (23 vials to be exact) and found out that I'm not on any illegal drugs, that I'm low on some stuff and high on others. I also found out that I'm O neg. So, now they want me to bring up my counts on things like potassium and iron and lower my triglycerides and cholesterol numbers....

I don't want more pills. I already take ten daily. UGH....and I don't want to add to that....so I have taken responsibility for my jelly belly. Ok Ok Ok....I'm a little, well, maybe more than a little overweight. I personally want to lose seventy pounds. The docs say I only need to lose thirty....but...I want to look and feel good and seventy lbs will make that happen for me..(maybe I'd be happy with 50 lbs...hell....who am I kidding...I'd be ecstatic). Since they have to put the new kidney in the front of my stomach, I don't need more packed in there, so it's up to me to make room for it.

I've put myself on a diet. I've never done well with a long list of things I can't eat. You know what I mean....you can't eat donuts, cake, cookies, candy, pie, fudge, drink soda's with sugar (that one really hurts), white bread, pasta, and blah blah blah. I could go on and on with what added pounds to my once skinny little frame, but..I CAN do a diet when I only have to cut out a couple of things...and those things for me are processd sugar and white flour. I know what you're thinking...Oh my gosh..you are just rewording all of the above goodies and maybe I am. But to me it's only two things. I just have to make sure that what I eat doesn't contain either of the two ingredients that I have chosen to give up.

I now eat quite a bit of fruit. I drink the V8 fruit juices and Welch's Grape juice Lite. That usually takes care of my sugar cravings. Fruit also has sugar in it...but remember I only cut out foods with processed sugar. I also check all package foods to make sure that sugar is not listed in the ingredients. It was kind of a pain in the tukas in the beginning...but now it's a challenge. And, now, I only eat whole grain bread and pastas. One of my newest favorite treats is a mini whole wheat bagel, toasted and topped with creme cheese. Then I made a mix of pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and sliced almonds and press that into the creme cheese. I top it with a slice of tomato and then cut it in half. To me, it's delicious and a treat. It meets all of my dietary requirements and is filling.
I don't know if I mentioned it or not...but I'm vegetarian and that makes it hard for me to get protien. The nuts and seeds are rich with protien...so if you need to add protien to your diet, try adding the nuts and seeds. Not only are they healthy, they are delish.

I never could stand diet sodas. That was until I tried zero coke. I love it. People say that even diet drinks are bad for you, but if we didn't eat everything that people say is bad for you, then we'd be stuck with only drinking water. And even then, who knows? I always hear about all those squiggly little things they find in water, so now we're only supposed to drink bottled water and then you find out by reading the label that the bottled water comes from our public drinking water. Round and round we go.

What does heathy mean anyway? To me...it's what promotes me feeling good about myself. Being able to do what I want to do physically (I'll be there soon) and not regretting what you've eaten after you've eaten it. I call it...eaters remorse. I've done it and I'm pretty sure we've all done it. I've been down and I blame that for making me crave something really delicious, like baking a cherry pie at eleven o'clock at night then eating most of it. It really hits home that I probably just ate 1,000 calories when I'm licking the last piece of great tasting goo off my finger. Yum...but oh crap what have I done.


I'm rambling...so back to my diet. I went through a real sugar withdrawal in the first two weeks but after that, it's been okay. I put myself on this self diet six weeks ago. What made me do it...partially a blood test that I had on September 19. My triglycerides were 660 (I had been enjoying my cakes and cookies) and then had another blood test on Oct 3rd...triglycerides were 300. Lowered by more than half . That was only two weeks after I started the self driven diet. Now..they are probably normal. Also my cholesterol was 220 on Sept 19th and on Oct 3rd it was
140. I'd also lost 11 lbs in that same two weeks. I am now on a mission! It was tough getting through that first two weeks, but when I saw the proof on my scale and through the blood tests I am now a believer that I CAN DO THIS!

I want to get healthy. The main reason is because I don't want to go on dialysis before the transplant and if I don't lose the weight that is what will happen. It will not happen to me. I won't let it. If you are going through the same thing....don't let other people tell you what will happen to you if you don't do this or don't do that. Make the choice...take hold of your health and control it. Stop letting it control you. Join me in being who you've alway wanted to be. The true us. Who could ask for more. We are fabulous! Let's go get what we want!

Leave comments about your progress. You're success will only help me with mine. I need your support to get through this and I'm there for you too.

A Mean Humpty Dumpty

Well here I am again so let's get started. This morning I woke up with a horrific headache and was nauseated. After drinking a glass of milk and taking a couple of aspirins, life is pretty much back to normal.

When the aspirin took effect, I started my daily google search about this tumor. Some of the articles I find are scary, but quite a few of them have a positive spin. One of the things I found out is that I have to shave my head. Evidentially having hair promotes infection during surgery and immediately after. So I need to know what you think. Should I shave my entire head and have fun with wigs? Or should I go with a long Mohawk since I do have some Cherokee blood. I could reconnect with my heritage and maybe buy some moccasins.

My husband and I had the serious talk. Once we faced what the possibilities are, we have decided that on a daily basis we will face this with a sense of humor. So...what that means is that I am taking full advantage. For example, when I want something and I am too lazy to get it myself....I ask my husband to get it for me. It goes something like this..."Honey, will you please get me a cup of tea. I'd get it myself but you know I have this tumor and all...(I drag out the "all"...for a few beats) or if I do something that is not quite pleasing to him and I know he's upset...I just point to my head and frown....gets him every time.

He knows that I'm yanking his chain, but he humors me. Am I scared, no I really don’t think I am. I’m aware of what can happen during surgery. Loss of vision, memory loss (I have already made name tags for everyone and my husband put sticky notes on all of the dogs the other day. haha), confusion, loss of sensations (I’m hoping for taste bud loss...I could stand to lose a few lbs.) and even death. Now that would be a bummer.

I envision this big egg like object (a mean Humpty Dumpty) just sitting pretty on top of my pituitary gland. I try to grab and crack it but it dodges and bobs and weaves, left and right...just out of my reach. I keep trying, knowing I will eventually grab it and squeeze it’s little yellow guts out.

What the heck...a little mind control can't hurt and who knows...miracles are possible. But just in case a miracle is not in my future, I am a realist...so surgery is probably about 2 weeks away. First, I have to undergo some additional tests and get all my ducks in a row. After that...the fun begins.

So, what I hope for you is that if you are going through the same thing or any kind of life threatening medical problem, you are able to face it, overcome it and come out the other side of whatever it is, healthier and happier. For me, humor will keep me positive.

My name is Donna and I have a "Stupid Brain Tumor"