Come on In...I'm giving myself a "Pity Party" and your invited.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life!......How Hoakie!.......but I do have to believe it is true.

It's time for me to get real.......The pain level I went thru today was probably the worst pain I have ever experienced. Between me gulping tears, holding my head, rocking back and forth and singing the song of the dead, how do I sucessfully push thru this pain only to find its twin on the other side?

I have not been honest with myself , much less with you about the level of pain I have been going thru with this $#@^& Tumor. I keep thinking...tomorrow will be better so I fib and say to myself that today must not of been that bad in the land of brain tumors and horrendous illnesses. Well let me tell you......that is sooooo nooooooot trueeeeeee. Facing the fact that I am not invincible, that I have a weakness and that it is not deniable, that is what hurts most.

I try to lead my life with honor and humor. By not sharing the facts of pain, I am deluting all of the past heroic folks that have gone thru life threatening experiences and come out the other side better people. I want to be like them. I want to be strong. I want to be a force. Someday, maybe I will be. I can only continue to try.

I am so lucky to have people in my life that give me strength, hope, laughter and love. These people are the folks who don't leave. They stay, no matter what. They are my friends and family. This post is differenat from my other ones. I am giving myself a little "Hospital Pity Party" and it is a big thank you from Me to You.

Ed, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my husband, my life partner and my best friend. Kelli, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my daughter, my life partner and my best friend. Katy, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my sister, my life partner and my best friend. Matt, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my cousin, my life partner and my best friend. Marlowe, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my niece, my life partner and my best friend.

Everyone else who makes my life complete, you know who you are. You are my son-in-law, my nephews, nieces, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws, my writer's club friends and my life long friends. You all make it click for me. Whether you are in my life for a moment or forever, thanks for walking beside me for however long we have together.

I just learned that someone I greatly admire is suffering. His name is Rod and he donated his kidney to his loving wife April, last Wednesday. From what I understand, everything was going well and they were expected to be released from the hospital today. She passed away last night. I can only imagine how devasted he is. My heart is with you and it breaks for you every time I think about the pain you will have to push thru.

As I sit in this hospital bed, wiping my eyes for my self very own pity party, I will say this one last time, because I want to make sure you understand my feelings.

Thanks for Saving My Life on a Daily Basis and

Thank You for Making My Life What It Is.

And What It Is,

Is Great!