Poked and Prodded

It's been quite some time since I've posted, but it's time again. I have been poked and prodded for the last several weeks and it's not over yet. I'm being tested to see if I'm healthy enough to go on the "LIST" for transplant. So far so good. I've found out that my heart is pretty darn good and my teeth are in great shape. The other day I had some blood drawn (23 vials to be exact) and found out that I'm not on any illegal drugs, that I'm low on some stuff and high on others. I also found out that I'm O neg. So, now they want me to bring up my counts on things like potassium and iron and lower my triglycerides and cholesterol numbers....

I don't want more pills. I already take ten daily. UGH....and I don't want to add to that....so I have taken responsibility for my jelly belly. Ok Ok Ok....I'm a little, well, maybe more than a little overweight. I personally want to lose seventy pounds. The docs say I only need to lose thirty....but...I want to look and feel good and seventy lbs will make that happen for me..(maybe I'd be happy with 50 lbs...hell....who am I kidding...I'd be ecstatic). Since they have to put the new kidney in the front of my stomach, I don't need more packed in there, so it's up to me to make room for it.

I've put myself on a diet. I've never done well with a long list of things I can't eat. You know what I mean....you can't eat donuts, cake, cookies, candy, pie, fudge, drink soda's with sugar (that one really hurts), white bread, pasta, and blah blah blah. I could go on and on with what added pounds to my once skinny little frame, but..I CAN do a diet when I only have to cut out a couple of things...and those things for me are processd sugar and white flour. I know what you're thinking...Oh my gosh..you are just rewording all of the above goodies and maybe I am. But to me it's only two things. I just have to make sure that what I eat doesn't contain either of the two ingredients that I have chosen to give up.

I now eat quite a bit of fruit. I drink the V8 fruit juices and Welch's Grape juice Lite. That usually takes care of my sugar cravings. Fruit also has sugar in it...but remember I only cut out foods with processed sugar. I also check all package foods to make sure that sugar is not listed in the ingredients. It was kind of a pain in the tukas in the beginning...but now it's a challenge. And, now, I only eat whole grain bread and pastas. One of my newest favorite treats is a mini whole wheat bagel, toasted and topped with creme cheese. Then I made a mix of pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and sliced almonds and press that into the creme cheese. I top it with a slice of tomato and then cut it in half. To me, it's delicious and a treat. It meets all of my dietary requirements and is filling.
I don't know if I mentioned it or not...but I'm vegetarian and that makes it hard for me to get protien. The nuts and seeds are rich with protien...so if you need to add protien to your diet, try adding the nuts and seeds. Not only are they healthy, they are delish.

I never could stand diet sodas. That was until I tried zero coke. I love it. People say that even diet drinks are bad for you, but if we didn't eat everything that people say is bad for you, then we'd be stuck with only drinking water. And even then, who knows? I always hear about all those squiggly little things they find in water, so now we're only supposed to drink bottled water and then you find out by reading the label that the bottled water comes from our public drinking water. Round and round we go.

What does heathy mean anyway? To me...it's what promotes me feeling good about myself. Being able to do what I want to do physically (I'll be there soon) and not regretting what you've eaten after you've eaten it. I call it...eaters remorse. I've done it and I'm pretty sure we've all done it. I've been down and I blame that for making me crave something really delicious, like baking a cherry pie at eleven o'clock at night then eating most of it. It really hits home that I probably just ate 1,000 calories when I'm licking the last piece of great tasting goo off my finger. Yum...but oh crap what have I done.


I'm rambling...so back to my diet. I went through a real sugar withdrawal in the first two weeks but after that, it's been okay. I put myself on this self diet six weeks ago. What made me do it...partially a blood test that I had on September 19. My triglycerides were 660 (I had been enjoying my cakes and cookies) and then had another blood test on Oct 3rd...triglycerides were 300. Lowered by more than half . That was only two weeks after I started the self driven diet. Now..they are probably normal. Also my cholesterol was 220 on Sept 19th and on Oct 3rd it was
140. I'd also lost 11 lbs in that same two weeks. I am now on a mission! It was tough getting through that first two weeks, but when I saw the proof on my scale and through the blood tests I am now a believer that I CAN DO THIS!

I want to get healthy. The main reason is because I don't want to go on dialysis before the transplant and if I don't lose the weight that is what will happen. It will not happen to me. I won't let it. If you are going through the same thing....don't let other people tell you what will happen to you if you don't do this or don't do that. Make the choice...take hold of your health and control it. Stop letting it control you. Join me in being who you've alway wanted to be. The true us. Who could ask for more. We are fabulous! Let's go get what we want!

Leave comments about your progress. You're success will only help me with mine. I need your support to get through this and I'm there for you too.

Hey Ken.......Thanks

This is a post for a friend of ours whose name is Ken. You never really know who your friends are until it comes down to just giving of yourself and that is exactly what Ken did the day of my surgery. He is actually a friend of my husbands, but I have always enjoyed the times our families got together and socialized. We have taken a few trips together and gone to a few parties.

The day of my surgery, Ken showed up at the hospital and kept Ed's mind on other things so he would'nt just sit there and worry about what was happening to me. I had loads of family members there also, but they were there for me (I hope) and they helped keep each other occupied as well. But Ken, he didn't have to interupt his day and come to the hospital. He could have sent well wishes, but instead, he took the time to think of Ed and changed his schedule to take care of a friend.

Thank you Ken, you may have thought it was a nice thing to do, but to me, you have now been moved to a very special catagory in my life. You are a person who cares about your friends and you are there to back that claim up. I know Ed could of prevailed without you there. As I said we had loved ones and other friends who sweated it out with us, but they were there for me. Thank you for thinking of Ed. I will never forget your kindness.

My name is Donna and everyday that the old ticker ticks, I realize how lucky I am to be surrounded by the best people in the world. Friends, family and all the good wishes I know were out there for me from people I do not know during this whole tumor thing.

I am Loving Life.

Sounds strange saying that after begging for an instant death and release from pain forever, however, life can never be taken too lightly. I was treated for a "Stupid Brain Tumor" at UT Southwestern University Hospital - Zale Lipshey.

Not only were the doctors, nurses, technitions, valets who parked my familie's cars, the folks who checked my bodily functions, the guy who made sure my a/c was working and keeping me comfortable, the women and men who mopped my floor, and their peers who changed my sheets, including everyone who always delivered my food with a smile on their face. (The food was really good also) to the employees who just dropped by to make sure I was OK, excellent, they made the experience a memorable one and made me remember how people are supposed to treat each other.

Their kindness, concern and caring touched my heart every time they entered my room and I will be thankful on a daily basis as to how each and every one of these caring individuals contributed to saving my life.

I know I am being all sappy and I'm having a Touched by an Angel moment , but I am thankful to be alive and I just wanted everyone involved in that process to know that I realize it is because of them that I am sucking it in and exhaling it out.

So to sum up this flowering mess, I want to thank my family, friends and professional team for their decision....

Thank you for deciding I was worth the effort.

My name is Donna and I will live another day because of you.

Come on In...I'm giving myself a "Pity Party" and your invited.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life!......How Hoakie!.......but I do have to believe it is true.

It's time for me to get real.......The pain level I went thru today was probably the worst pain I have ever experienced. Between me gulping tears, holding my head, rocking back and forth and singing the song of the dead, how do I sucessfully push thru this pain only to find its twin on the other side?

I have not been honest with myself , much less with you about the level of pain I have been going thru with this $#@^& Tumor. I keep thinking...tomorrow will be better so I fib and say to myself that today must not of been that bad in the land of brain tumors and horrendous illnesses. Well let me tell you......that is sooooo nooooooot trueeeeeee. Facing the fact that I am not invincible, that I have a weakness and that it is not deniable, that is what hurts most.

I try to lead my life with honor and humor. By not sharing the facts of pain, I am deluting all of the past heroic folks that have gone thru life threatening experiences and come out the other side better people. I want to be like them. I want to be strong. I want to be a force. Someday, maybe I will be. I can only continue to try.

I am so lucky to have people in my life that give me strength, hope, laughter and love. These people are the folks who don't leave. They stay, no matter what. They are my friends and family. This post is differenat from my other ones. I am giving myself a little "Hospital Pity Party" and it is a big thank you from Me to You.

Ed, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my husband, my life partner and my best friend. Kelli, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my daughter, my life partner and my best friend. Katy, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my sister, my life partner and my best friend. Matt, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my cousin, my life partner and my best friend. Marlowe, I love you more than you will ever know. You are my niece, my life partner and my best friend.

Everyone else who makes my life complete, you know who you are. You are my son-in-law, my nephews, nieces, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws, my writer's club friends and my life long friends. You all make it click for me. Whether you are in my life for a moment or forever, thanks for walking beside me for however long we have together.

I just learned that someone I greatly admire is suffering. His name is Rod and he donated his kidney to his loving wife April, last Wednesday. From what I understand, everything was going well and they were expected to be released from the hospital today. She passed away last night. I can only imagine how devasted he is. My heart is with you and it breaks for you every time I think about the pain you will have to push thru.

As I sit in this hospital bed, wiping my eyes for my self very own pity party, I will say this one last time, because I want to make sure you understand my feelings.

Thanks for Saving My Life on a Daily Basis and

Thank You for Making My Life What It Is.

And What It Is,

Is Great!

They Love Me Just a Little Too Much Here

So they are keeping me for at least another day. My silly brain is still swelling so they are going to put me back on steroids so the swelling will halt and decease. My headaches are pretty bad and Dr. Mickey does'nt want me leaving while I am in still so much pain because I live so far away. Thanks for that. I do want to go home. I want to be with my husband and see my friends. I also want to get wags and kisses from the 10 furry pups I have. This is a pic of Tilla, I don't know if I have ever shared that information with you before, but here are the rest of their names,
Boob (aka boobalicious or boobasaurous depending on his actions at the moment), Jelly Bean, Tilla (aka Atilla the Hun) Tulip, Tucker, Max, Moilly, Bug (aka Love Bug) Missy, and Mamma. I will try to post one of their pictures....They keep me very happy. I love wagging tails and unconditional love.

Anyway back to the tumor. It hurts like hell....I just wish the hurting would stop and I could get back to normal. I want to start writing on my novel again. I want to help edit my friends novels. I want to get back to my jewelry business and everythting else I do. However as long as my brain insists on being larger than the cranial capacity, that is an impossibility.

I am not happy about this new development and I am having strict talkings to my brain everyday. We are at odds at the moment.

Just thought I would keep you updated...that's about it for now. Talk to you again tomorrow if I get to go home.

My name is Donna and I feel like crap today

They call me Zipper Head!

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This is the scar and it looks like you can just unzip me.

Hopefully I get to go home tomorrow, Saturday and get back to normal life. I am meeting with the kidney transplant team on April 16th. Anyone have and extra kidney floating around?

Actually I have quite a few people who have stepped up to the plate already. My husband, sister, daughter, my contractor and a friend. Someone out of all of them...should work.

But now my concern is that you, whoever you are, and that if you are reading this and hurting, how can I help you through whatever it is you are going thru? If you are in a life threatening situation there is nothing more scary than thoughts of leaving behind loved ones. I faced this with the idea that nothing would go wrong. Yes, we (the family) talked about all of the death stuff, but once we discussed it and got all of the questions out on the table and found out all of the answers, I got all of my affairs in order and then we were able to move on.

I thoroughty researched the surgeon and the hospital and his team. I think I got the best doctor available. His name is Dr. Bruce Edward Mickey out of Tx SW University Hospital Complex in
Dallas, Texas. It is a teaching hospital and from what EVERYONE I spoke to reported, .....he is the best and he surrounds himself with the best.

Thank you, Dr. Mickey.

Well that's all I have to say today...I thought you might want to see the scar...Just think 45 hours ago my brain lay exposed on an operating table with doctors poking and prodding it. And look at me now. I am writing to you. Just how amazing is that?

My name is Donna and I am now an official zipper head and proud of it. I came through it with flying colors!

Pretty Cool...this is my brain

Hi Everyone.

Here it is the day after my "Stupid Brain Tumor Surgery" and I am already on my computer. Imagine that. I have the video of the complete surgery and it is really, rather amazing. You can see my brain and just like I had thought, it is quite an impressive brain. I was agog with the video. bit it grossed Ed out. I hope I can download it on this site in case you are interested in seeing brain surgery, but let me warn you, it is quite graphic.

Last night was a reallllllly bad night. I was throwing up quite a bit and it felt like my head was being torn from my neck. Once the upchucking passed, it has'nt been so bad. They are keeping me pretty drugged, which is a very good thing.....and I should be home by the weekend.

Anyway, I am at Zales Lipshey University Hospital (part of UT Southwest Complex), 5151 Harry Hines Blvd in Dallas, Room 520. I know some of you wanted to come by and say hey....so there is the address.

The cut on my head is very impressive. (about 10 inches long) It is not bandaged so you see it in all it's glory. Again...it grosses Ed out. By Friday I should have 2 black eyes and my head should be at maximum swelling. I am assuming I will be quite attractive. So far, everyone I have come into contact with here at the hospital is wonderful. They are very kind and good care givers.

My sister-in-law, Patty Lasko, stayed all night with me in ICU last night and I can only imagine, how horrible it was for her. During the upchucking sessions, I was crying because of the pain to my head and I actually think she was crying in sympathy. She was such a life saver, I don't think I could of made it thru last night without her. Thanks Patty.

I am already walking around and I am really amazed at this whole process. I am fine and I have no side effects that I know of. That is other than I tilt to the left when I walk, I don't really know who I am and I am blind as a bat.....psych....I am perfect...but you already knew that!

That is about all I have to report. I am going to try to download the video....and I will blog again within the next couple of days.

My name is Donna and I no longer have a "Stupid Brain Tumor"

The Dr. shakes his head slowly and says

It’s been a while since I put to words my medical mishaps, so here goes, I’m at it again. Today I went to see Dr. Toto, (nephrology) to check on my kidneys before the surgery. I am now at about 21% function and am in stage 4 kidney failure. However, that’s really not all that bad. I have been in stage 3.9999999 for quite some time, so I plan on being in stage 4 (the beginning) for a while. Sounds like a movie of the week.

“Dr. We have a situation here. This strikingly beautiful woman, (nurse points to me) has a brain tumor and is in stage 4 kidney failure. She also suffers from Cushings Disease and has a liberal sister!”

The Dr. shakes his head slowly and says, “Yes, nurse, I know she is strinkingly beautiful.”

My drama goes something like that!!!

Anyway, back to the kidney thing, I have a couple of offers. My sister, who is probably the closest match, my husband, my daughter and believe it or not, one of the contractors working on our house. He has offered, but I don’t think he knows what he would be getting himself into. Anyway, I am sure my sis is a perfect match, so I will become one with her. God help me, she is a screaming liberal, so I’m crossing my fingers for the conservative kidney.

Now to the good news. There is absolutely nothing about my kidneys that will hamper the brain surgery. I just have to make sure they know about the kidney situation before I go under and then all will be perfect.

So...I am just hanging around waiting to get the ball rolling and get this mess over with so I can go back to living. I am pretty darn sick of being so tired and puekey all the time.

Wish me luck, if you are reading this, then you are in my thoughts..Wishing you nothing but good luck and good health.

My name is Donna....and I am in pretty good shape....considering!